Things they dont teach you in Makeup School...
apparently so... 

apparently so... 

The other night I was out with friends and over a glass of wine I shared a story of a recent event in my life... and my friend threw her head back in laughter and screamed "OH. MY.GOD.  I just LOVE your crazy stories!"... it was one of those moments where I thought to myself...  "oh gaaaawd.... are the events in my life that unusual? Crazy? Even weird? I am definitely not embellishing anything... and I do have quite a few like this...(silently counting weird stories on my tiny hands) And shit... I wasn't even sharing a story that I was happy about."

I started to worry that maybe there is a possibility I subconsciously create crazy situations or evens so I have stories to tell. SURELY NOT!? My subconscious has a sick sense of humour if that's the case and I think we need to break up.

The latest story... and a reason for my silence posting here... is I reversed my car over my laptop. Yes. You heard. Its one of those things that you think is impossible and now that it happened to me... I can tell you... that it was easy. If I wrote it here... you wouldn't believe me. 

I now have a new laptop lover and I am still mourning my old laptop lover. It's bitter sweet.

If you are one of those people who have been waiting for FACE2FACE Makeup Awards Post awards posts... they are coming... I also have some new things in the works. Not only have I been without a laptop for about a month I have had that weird month long head cold where all your motivation and energy and pretty much any human traits dissapear and you are an empty dizzy shell walking around with a small ability to speak English properly... much like a zombie. Today was the day I felt slightly human again and also invested in a new laptop. Hello I am back! I hope.

After smashing my head on the soap dish in the shower this morning (crazy isn't giving up this week) I dont have the brains to indulge you in the frustrating detailed story of how I revered over my laptop... or more to the point I dont want to recreate a story that only makes me feel angry on the inside... but something that has been on my mind lately is a topic I want to investigate over the next few months.... Things they dont teach you at Makeup School.

Some of you know I used to manage a large academy for a while. I know first hand how desperate makeup trainers can get trying to have students LISTEN to some of the hard truths about the reality of the makeup industry they share in class... yet students still sit there with rose coloured glasses on not wanting to acknowledge what is being said... and fair enough... who wants to think their future may come with hardship. Any career is hard to get momentum in the first few years... especially a freelance one... and double whammy that with a trade that most people see as a 'luxury item' not a necessity... even productions. It can be tough!

So in the theme of 'Things they dont teach you in makeup school''...One of the first topics I wish existed would be

"How to swim upstream in a sea full of crazy" 

" Life gets crazy. It's not even always the good kind of crazy. Its can be the 'laptop-dying-loosing-all-my-data-and-I-mean-everything-flu-head-emails-not-working-on-the-iPad-lets-throw-in-numerous-3-am-wake-up-calls-unexpected-bills-no-brains-to-put-a-sentence-together-but-heres-a-microphone-to-present-awards-oh-and heres-divorce-papers-and-a-couple-of-difficult-clients-and-situations-to-deal-with-and-a-really-sore-pimple-in-your-freaking-ear' kind of crazy.... that's the kind of life conditions that sometimes happen and you still need to pull your socks up and go to work and be fabulous. They dont teach you in makeup school how to do that. You need to work that out yourself. People will give you uplifting advise and sometimes that makes things WORSE as you think they are being righteous! They are only trying to make a positive impact on you... 

I wish when I was teaching I could have had a 'dealing with the crazy' class. We all have our own version of crazy. Crazy clusters together too. You got to keep moving forwards and never ever let it get in the way of what you are working towards. The crazy will test you too throwing in more crazy when you least expect it. I wish someone told me that years ago. My trainer DID used to say 'never ever give up'... that made a big impression on me... I wish he elaborated more. I wish he told us that crazy will happen all at once many times over... and the lesson to take from the crazy is IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. You can't make the crazy mean anything. It's just a bunch of crazy happening. If I sat here and made the crazy mean something like 'I am not meant to do this' or 'I should go get a 9-5 job' where would the fun of that be? I would stop doing what I love and have new problems... I would probably still have crazy things happening around me... AAAND I would also be miserable in a job that isn't doing what I want to be doing. So thanks crazy... I will take your financial fails, your broken cars, your illness, your divorce, your difficult situations, your dead computers, your fighting friends and your ego wars and just be thankful that its all surrounding a journey to build a life I love not surrounding a life where I feel I am not on the right path.

Swimming upstream despite the crazy would be an invaluable lesson. I have seen the crazy take artists out of the game too early. I have seen people focus on the crazy as if that's all that matters. I have seen people run the opposite way as soon as some crazy came into sight. Crazy is going to happen whether we are working towards our goals or not. May as well keep working towards our goals!

We all experience crazy. It grips onto our ankles and tries to pull us down. It bruises us. It even entertains us. Crazy can take the form of family... finances... unforseen situations... other artists... clients! Oh we love when crazy shows up as a client!  It can even show up like your dating nemesis (and in the words of an eloquent beer guzzler) 'cock-blocking' you from that job you wanted. Damn you crazy.

The worst thing, I suppose, is thinking you are the only one experiencing crazy. 

We all experience it in some way. 

Maybe in a future makeup school we can all attend the class of how to deal with crazy... and it will be like a self defense class and we are protecting our goals with swift karate chops and kicks to the groin. 

If you are in a cluster of crazy right now... may the force be with you and keep going. Crazy doesn't last forever... but in the middle of a cluster it can feel like it will never end. What I have learnt is there is always always always a silver lining. Somewhere in there.

What they dont teach you at Makeup School is how to keep your eyes on the goal and deflect clusters of crazy.

Homework would include compulsory viewing of episodes of TOTAL WIPEOUT.. There is much to be learnt from this stroke of genius metaphorically speaking. We could all take a leaf out of Total Wipeouts book... in the face of being sucker punched or a future of giant balls.... Keep your eye on your prize and keep going."